The word sound familiar rite.. bout the currently earthquake happen in sichuan in china.. sharron stone was asked by press bout her opinion.. suddenly she pop out the word of karma.. which of course, led her to a serious case.. she indeed make a wrong move especially she is a celebrities, she not suppose to say so.. that's y all the press in china quite upset with her and hardly to forgive even though she aplogized and promise to help the victim by going there to become a volunteer..

actually i wan to say in here is different from the story above.. after a talked with frens last time when i went to kl for wesak holiday.. i found that i wat occur in my life just a pillar for some sort of ppl.. in my context, i think pillar is strong, hard and will not able to fall so easily unless have a big earthquake lar.. but i would like to ask you all.. did we all gratitude to our pillar for supporting to us for all this while..

i keep thinking and yet rethink the whole story for many times.. i hardly to forgive myself being a mr nice guy and also the ppl who used me either with purpose or not.. sometimes, i just feel like i was an idiot or a fool.. no matter how i try or how i work, the result still the same.. i alwiz being label rebelious, no co-operative, angryman, not supportive, and all those same goes to a old man behaviour.. however, i dun agree all.. first i not rebelious.. second i quite co-operative unless some make me feel upset.. third, angryman quite a bit.. cos too influencial by the horoscope.. or maybe i just born as a youngest children in the family.. fourth, not supportive.. depends wat the situation and case..

watever i did alwiz is a background work.. not ppl will noe wat is my job is.. i not formally introduce and yet my hardwork not neccesary be saluted.. as wat i done not greater than any oscar or hk film awards.. people like to see the actor and actress.. you act well, you will alwiz get a big hand from ppl and yet you will be famous and well known.. no matter wat you did wrong, you alwiz get the forgiven.. is just like when you with them, they feel assured and will very to accept your help.. even you say no, ppl will agree with you..

but for me, not matter how good or how hard i try to be, i alwiz get the look of you are the troublemaker.. the world look so good and nice without your existing.. when they need help, i alwiz the one will be targeted.. i not sure whether i been look high or watever.. i just have to help.. when i said no, i will being called so many unkind word.. when the whole thing is finish, i just get aside without being acknowledged.. sometimes, i rethink why i need to be suffer like this, i alwiz tell myself, i shud not be so calculative.. past is past.. but lately, i found that i not able to do so.. cos i also human.. need to give some encouraging or compliment.. like the singapore movie '小孩不笨2'.. karma guar. mayb in my past life, i like to use ppl or torture ppl guar, therefore i get paid on it in this life..

am i look negative.. yes, i do.. or maybe things happen lots lately.. i just feel ntg for me to go on.. when i recalled how many fren i have, i was laugh at myself.. even though in my msn list or friendster list got so many, but how many did i reli call or chat.. or just say frenship got lots but real frens just fews..

dear frens, when you read till here, you might feel y you being treated all these while (some of you lar.. ) or y not able to know it while i there.. mayb i just din have the pleasant look, good attitude or sweet mouth.. or i too narrow to myself until i not even able to notice the surrounding me.. i feel terrible sorry over the mess i made.. ntg able to change it rite now.. or i shud say i good in ntg but to be a troublemaker.. to bring unpleasant memories to you guys.. if so, i just wish i never been here anymore..