dearest fren,

time reli pass faster than i can hold it back... today, very sudden to view all the photo that i taken during my uni life.. unspoken feeling float at my heart.. the joyful n the laugher n smile that appear on everyone of us, seems fading everyday since we apart from each of us.. the pictures of us together non-stop playing at my head, like we just keep see the movie play and play..

is time reli make me feel badly to apart from you guys.. am i choose the right way to go,.. i hardly to hold my tears back when keep thinking of you guys out there.. i wish to be there with you guys, just like the old days.. steamboat, sing k., taking pic, etc..

however, we have no rights to stop watever is over.. but what we can do is just to look forward the new journey.. new frens, new environment.. n yet looking for the right person will be hardly as the process need to start all over again..

therefore, farewell my fren, farewell to my memories..

Well, today is public holiday. Therefore I able to take another one day rest before start going back to work tomorrow. My voice is much better than yesterday. Toomorrow need to go to KL, I really don't want to drive but sigh.

Christams is coming soon. I thought to take leave however cancel at last. This is because I not able to get the transport to go to Singapore with my friends. Lastly, my friends quite disappointed with my planning. Sorry. But, I think good also. Because now sick, at least can go back home to take a rest. If I sick during vacation, more suffer and not enjoyable.

Christmas eve. I wonder what is the planning and what I can do to celebrate it since my first time in hometown after went to study at university. This Saturday is 'Guo Dong' festival. My parents not with me. No meaning to celebrate this festival. Anyone wish to celebrate with me..

Well, being six month in the company, lastly I need to MC for today. Actually, I feel myself that I will get sick soon. But didn't thought is really come to worse. Actually nothing much to worried about as just a little cough and sore throat.

This morning when I wake up, my voice suddenly change and hardly to produce the sound. I still go to office and thought able to work half day before I go to see doctor as I have made some appointment with my customer. But, when in office, the colleagues asked me don't talk so much and go to see doctor. When I need to get my manager approval, my manager said, "During appraisal, I did said you didn't take MC before and now you really need to take it". Kind of so funny.

The last time I sick is during my last year in university which I overwork for my thesis report. That time more worst as I have not much time left to study for my exam which is only 2 days ahead. I thought I can finish my exam then go to see doctor, but it really make me no more energy and hardly to sit during exam. After my first paper, the next day, I went to see doctor. Sigh. Tomorrow still have another paper to sit at. Result is these 2 papres I get the worse result among others. I really regret and sad as I sick during the wrong time. What to do, I pass at last.

Back to now. Since so, doctor advised me to get one day leave to get rest. However, I still need to take care myself as my parent went to vacation. Sigh. After I settle my things, I only take the medicine. Once, I drank the cough drug, I suddenly feel the powerful sleepy potion has been dranked by me. When I wake up, it pass the noon time, therefore I get myself a instant noodle before taking my medicine. Whole days seem very weak of the effect from the medicine.

I wonder when I able to get well though I always dream to get myself a leave. Haha. This friday need to attend a seminar at KL, somemore I need to drive. Therefore, I won't take my medicine that day till I back to my house. One day trip really boring. Somemore the next day, I need to work for half day. Why? Sigh.

This date is quite memorable. Why? This is because I have working for the company half a year. Even though appraisal is done by yesterday, however, I still haven get the letter of confirmation yet. I wonder why.

This half year not so easy to work out and yet not a short time. Even though, I always said that time will flies fast. Yes, is indeed. However, there also got some time suffering. Human won't always have a smooth journey. If there have, I wonder who is it.

In this six month, I suffered lots, see alots and yet heard alots. I not sure how far I able to walk and how far did the company bring me to. Is this company is good? I hardly to say so as I still new to this company.

Many peoples said that I should be grateful as I learned alots. But, I'm not sure yet as this path not I wanted. But, who knows what will happen to me in future. No one able to predict but only God will know where it leads me to.

I keep telling my colleague, this company is alike SDU and not a normal police force. This is because every employee in this company need to work more harder than anyone else to maintain the professionalism. We must know alots and able to handle uncountable workload. Short words is always prepare. No matter how the case is difficult or easy. Being a SDU member is a tough thing that I ever done. Haha.

Well, today is my appraisal day. Wont able to know what will be questioned or will talk about. The appraisal should be done last week friday, but since I have an urgent work need to do onsite, therefore the appraisal meeting postponed till today. Well, this appraisal is just a confirmation appraisal.

I was so nervous when the time is coming. The evaluation form that given by my manager last week, still in my hand. 4pm arrive lastly after waiting for half day. This kind of feeling like I waiting to die. Haha.

The meeting has carried out for 2 hours. Mostly talking something related back to 4w1h question. This kind of environment made me felt very uncomfortable. The words came from her is like bringing me to walk around the world. Why I did said so, is because every word came from her got the inner meaning. What I can do is just express my thinking but still need be careful as I dont want to fall into her trap just to get some wind about my unsatisfactory. Some how my brain tell me that I need to be careful.

The process of the appraisal, I not really care about. What I did care is the conclusion. Too sad to said is that conclusion she given is not what I expected. I felt that she no likely to help me to fight for my benefits. What I can do. Just to patience for my 2 years contract fully expired before I able to myself free from this company.