dreams_of_hope

眼泪

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 12:45:42 GMT

有一部戏, 男主角说�人的眼泪代表痛苦,鬼的眼泪代表希望�. 也有人说老人家的眼泪代表开心. 你知道吗为什么刚刚出生的婴儿就会哭? 着代表这个小孩子一定要在着个世界上经过人生的甜,酸,苦,辣. 其实, 眼泪也有很多种哦. 有些代表幸福,也有遗憾, 伤心等等.

哭不一定代表不好的事. 人在伤心的时候, 哭可以让痛苦在心理慢慢的解开. 虽然不可以解除心理的悲伤,至少他/她不会这么难过. 除外这样,开心哭就代表感动和感激对某某的事情或某某的人.

最近,有很多的改变的东西发生在我身边. 来了一个, 另外一个有来. 虽然, 看起来是一个很简单的变化, 但是我真的累了. 因为改变来得太突然, 也慢慢的成为了我的困扰. 压力也来敲我的门口. 就这样,我开始对每个东西不耐烦, 要求也高了. 总以想起来了. 原来,我很久没哭过. 忘了眼泪的感觉.

突然间。。

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 01:31:12 GMT

16/01/09 � 又来到星期五，最后一天。爽! 吃了早餐，喝杯茶，就以为要开工，突然间收到一个短讯。是我的学姐。内容是说"我爸爸今天早上过死，我会坚强因为妈妈需要我"。看了过后，有一个很沉闷的感觉在我心中。人生是很奇妙的事情。我们永远都不知道几时是我们的最后一天。朋友，请你们要好好的保重和爱惜自己的生命。请做你想要的东西，你不敢做的东西。千万不要让你自己后悔，因为你没想到突然的情况发生在你的身边或你自己身上。纵那个短讯，可以看到，人生原来是很脆弱，但是因为莫一个人或莫一个东西，往往都会变成很坚强。

学姐，请你要好好的保重自己，因为你还有很长的路要走。我相信伯父会保右你们。希望你知道当你心情很坏或不开心的话，请记住你还有我们这些朋友，聊一聊。希望我们很快的看到学姐的灿烂的笑容。保重。。。

乱乱发脾气

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 01:28:47 GMT

最近，火太大了。看到莫个事情，虽然很小的东西，都会乱乱发脾气。最槽糕的是我的身边的人做了我的出气袋。很多东西都是出在我的公司的问题。。我非常很不开心，也很内疚对我生气过的人。对不起！！

P/S: This blog suppose post on last 2 weeks.

Karma

Sat, 31 May 2008 16:58:16 GMT

The word sound familiar rite.. bout the currently earthquake happen in sichuan in china.. sharron stone was asked by press bout her opinion.. suddenly she pop out the word of karma.. which of course, led her to a serious case.. she indeed make a wrong move especially she is a celebrities, she not suppose to say so.. that's y all the press in china quite upset with her and hardly to forgive even though she aplogized and promise to help the victim by going there to become a volunteer..

actually i wan to say in here is different from the story above.. after a talked with frens last time when i went to kl for wesak holiday.. i found that i wat occur in my life just a pillar for some sort of ppl.. in my context, i think pillar is strong, hard and will not able to fall so easily unless have a big earthquake lar.. but i would like to ask you all.. did we all gratitude to our pillar for supporting to us for all this while..

i keep thinking and yet rethink the whole story for many times.. i hardly to forgive myself being a mr nice guy and also the ppl who used me either with purpose or not.. sometimes, i just feel like i was an idiot or a fool.. no matter how i try or how i work, the result still the same.. i alwiz being label rebelious, no co-operative, angryman, not supportive, and all those same goes to a old man behaviour.. however, i dun agree all.. first i not rebelious.. second i quite co-operative unless some make me feel upset.. third, angryman quite a bit.. cos too influencial by the horoscope.. or maybe i just born as a youngest children in the family.. fourth, not supportive.. depends wat the situation and case..

watever i did alwiz is a background work.. not ppl will noe wat is my job is.. i not formally introduce and yet my hardwork not neccesary be saluted.. as wat i done not greater than any oscar or hk film awards.. people like to see the actor and actress.. you act well, you will alwiz get a big hand from ppl and yet you will be famous and well known.. no matter wat you did wrong, you alwiz get the forgiven.. is just like when you with them, they feel assured and will very to accept your help.. even you say no, ppl will agree with you..

but for me, not matter how good or how hard i try to be, i alwiz get the look of you are the troublemaker.. the world look so good and nice without your existing.. when they need help, i alwiz the one will be targeted.. i not sure whether i been look high or watever.. i just have to help.. when i said no, i will being called so many unkind word.. when the whole thing is finish, i just get aside without being acknowledged.. sometimes, i rethink why i need to be suffer like this, i alwiz tell myself, i shud not be so calculative.. past is past.. but lately, i found that i not able to do so.. cos i also human.. need to give some encouraging or compliment.. like the singapore movie '小孩不笨2'.. karma guar. mayb in my past life, i like to use ppl or torture ppl guar, therefore i get paid on it in this life..

am i look negative.. yes, i do.. or maybe things happen lots lately.. i just feel ntg for me to go on.. when i recalled how many fren i have, i was laugh at myself.. even though in my msn list or friendster list got so many, but how many did i reli call or chat.. or just say frenship got lots but real frens just fews..

dear frens, when you read till here, you might feel y you being treated all these while (some of you lar.. ) or y not able to know it while i there.. mayb i just din have the pleasant look, good attitude or sweet mouth.. or i too narrow to myself until i not even able to notice the surrounding me.. i feel terrible sorry over the mess i made.. ntg able to change it rite now.. or i shud say i good in ntg but to be a troublemaker.. to bring unpleasant memories to you guys.. if so, i just wish i never been here anymore..

Confussion

Sat, 31 May 2008 16:18:00 GMT

is been a long period after my january blog being published.. the time fly fast and indeed all the things just happen like yesterday.. today is the last day of month may.. and another 18 days just remind me that i been working for 1 year...

in the early of the year, i was being outsource to another company as my branch didnt have any extra outsource guy or so called employee.. the working period not long and yet not short.. but indeed, is a most relaxing period for me and yet the most happiest moment i ever had.. though need to wake up early but the thing i like most is the finish time is much much earlier than current job.. beside that, i alwiz able to off my work very punctual and if they ask me to do any OT, i will gladly do so as i able to claim it per hour basis rather you work till your bloody cell become thin, you onli able to get rm15 for the meal allowance..

when i was asked to back to my current job, there was drastic change in my life.. the change i hate most.. and yet i dun wan just to be a hem.. is remind me a book called 'Who Moved My Cheese?' written by dr. spencer johnson.. it's reflect to our life nowadays.. therefore, i choose to become a haw.. try to learn and adapt the change in order to hope to get a better life..

month of april and may indeed give me much more exposure i have last time.. since as i said have a drastic change, from a heaven lifestyle become to a hell lifestyle.. i not onli have to learn fast to catch up the latest up-to-date support, and i need to recalled all the syllabus i learn since i join the company.. is a huge challenge and need lots of faith to get thru the barrier..

when i talked to my frens about my job and my life, i reli hope my 2 years bond will be get thru faster.. not only able to get away from paying the sum of amount back to company once i terminate the contract but also i able to enjoy to moment saying 'i'm quit' to my manager any moment i wan to without second doubt.. that's one factor.. the second is the $$.. that's my main problem.. human is greedy.. no matter how much he earn, he will alwiz said not enuf.. human is just like tat.. alwiz not get enuf or satisfied of wat he have right now.. same goes to me.. even though i stay at my home, eat at home, but still not able to secure my financial.. is not that i alwiz like to spend my salary uncountable, but i just too calculate over my expenses to ensure i wont get the trouble of financial problem.. so, to my fren out there, sorry for my calculative and of course, the kedekut style.. therefore, i alwiz put xtra alert on wat i spend the money..

that's the reason i find that my life is so dull and boring.. hardly to find myself satisfaction in watever i doing.. or i shud do like wat other's ppl do.. dont care so much.. but when come to end of the month, i just buy or spend something that i like most to make me happy guar or award myself over the hardship i went thru..

yesterday, my GM asked me wat my ambition.. i reli think twice before i able to answer him.. i said i wan to be at your place (means i hope that i able to be a GM like him).. he laughed and replied me, 'good.. i so wish that someone able to take over my place, therefore i able to get another good position'.. actually, in far of my heart, i do know wat to reply to him at the first place.. first, i study a bright future course but not suit to me.. second, i join the job which i sometimes like but mostly hate.. haha.. and yet, i not able to determine whether i still suit to this job..

i remembered once i go for a tarrot reading, when i asked bout my career.. when the lady asked me whether i got think to change job, i answer her yes.. after take 5 cards and asked my to choose which is represent current and which is represent the new job.. this is the explaination i get.. i can see you have made a wise choice to choose this company as your career.. you have a bright future.. while the other one, i saw you will get trouble.. all your hardwork will being taken by your superior.. therefore, if i were you, i will stay at wat i doing now to see the overview first before decide to move.. when i recalled the stories to my frens, mostly said the prediction go wrongly d.. the good one shud go to new job.. shud i laugh?!

dear fren

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 05:55:52 GMT

dearest fren,

time reli pass faster than i can hold it back... today, very sudden to view all the photo that i taken during my uni life.. unspoken feeling float at my heart.. the joyful n the laugher n smile that appear on everyone of us, seems fading everyday since we apart from each of us.. the pictures of us together non-stop playing at my head, like we just keep see the movie play and play..

is time reli make me feel badly to apart from you guys.. am i choose the right way to go,.. i hardly to hold my tears back when keep thinking of you guys out there.. i wish to be there with you guys, just like the old days.. steamboat, sing k., taking pic, etc..

however, we have no rights to stop watever is over.. but what we can do is just to look forward the new journey.. new frens, new environment.. n yet looking for the right person will be hardly as the process need to start all over again..

therefore, farewell my fren, farewell to my memories..

Holiday.

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 03:52:05 GMT

Well, today is public holiday. Therefore I able to take another one day rest before start going back to work tomorrow. My voice is much better than yesterday. Toomorrow need to go to KL, I really don't want to drive but sigh.

Christams is coming soon. I thought to take leave however cancel at last. This is because I not able to get the transport to go to Singapore with my friends. Lastly, my friends quite disappointed with my planning. Sorry. But, I think good also. Because now sick, at least can go back home to take a rest. If I sick during vacation, more suffer and not enjoyable.

Christmas eve. I wonder what is the planning and what I can do to celebrate it since my first time in hometown after went to study at university. This Saturday is 'Guo Dong' festival. My parents not with me. No meaning to celebrate this festival. Anyone wish to celebrate with me..

MC

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:34:03 GMT

Well, being six month in the company, lastly I need to MC for today. Actually, I feel myself that I will get sick soon. But didn't thought is really come to worse. Actually nothing much to worried about as just a little cough and sore throat.

This morning when I wake up, my voice suddenly change and hardly to produce the sound. I still go to office and thought able to work half day before I go to see doctor as I have made some appointment with my customer. But, when in office, the colleagues asked me don't talk so much and go to see doctor. When I need to get my manager approval, my manager said, "During appraisal, I did said you didn't take MC before and now you really need to take it". Kind of so funny.

The last time I sick is during my last year in university which I overwork for my thesis report. That time more worst as I have not much time left to study for my exam which is only 2 days ahead. I thought I can finish my exam then go to see doctor, but it really make me no more energy and hardly to sit during exam. After my first paper, the next day, I went to see doctor. Sigh. Tomorrow still have another paper to sit at. Result is these 2 papres I get the worse result among others. I really regret and sad as I sick during the wrong time. What to do, I pass at last.

Back to now. Since so, doctor advised me to get one day leave to get rest. However, I still need to take care myself as my parent went to vacation. Sigh. After I settle my things, I only take the medicine. Once, I drank the cough drug, I suddenly feel the powerful sleepy potion has been dranked by me. When I wake up, it pass the noon time, therefore I get myself a instant noodle before taking my medicine. Whole days seem very weak of the effect from the medicine.

I wonder when I able to get well though I always dream to get myself a leave. Haha. This friday need to attend a seminar at KL, somemore I need to drive. Therefore, I won't take my medicine that day till I back to my house. One day trip really boring. Somemore the next day, I need to work for half day. Why? Sigh.

18th December 2007

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 03:21:02 GMT

This date is quite memorable. Why? This is because I have working for the company half a year. Even though appraisal is done by yesterday, however, I still haven get the letter of confirmation yet. I wonder why.

This half year not so easy to work out and yet not a short time. Even though, I always said that time will flies fast. Yes, is indeed. However, there also got some time suffering. Human won't always have a smooth journey. If there have, I wonder who is it.

In this six month, I suffered lots, see alots and yet heard alots. I not sure how far I able to walk and how far did the company bring me to. Is this company is good? I hardly to say so as I still new to this company.

Many peoples said that I should be grateful as I learned alots. But, I'm not sure yet as this path not I wanted. But, who knows what will happen to me in future. No one able to predict but only God will know where it leads me to.

I keep telling my colleague, this company is alike SDU and not a normal police force. This is because every employee in this company need to work more harder than anyone else to maintain the professionalism. We must know alots and able to handle uncountable workload. Short words is always prepare. No matter how the case is difficult or easy. Being a SDU member is a tough thing that I ever done. Haha.

Appraisal

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 03:08:06 GMT

Well, today is my appraisal day. Wont able to know what will be questioned or will talk about. The appraisal should be done last week friday, but since I have an urgent work need to do onsite, therefore the appraisal meeting postponed till today. Well, this appraisal is just a confirmation appraisal.

I was so nervous when the time is coming. The evaluation form that given by my manager last week, still in my hand. 4pm arrive lastly after waiting for half day. This kind of feeling like I waiting to die. Haha.

The meeting has carried out for 2 hours. Mostly talking something related back to 4w1h question. This kind of environment made me felt very uncomfortable. The words came from her is like bringing me to walk around the world. Why I did said so, is because every word came from her got the inner meaning. What I can do is just express my thinking but still need be careful as I dont want to fall into her trap just to get some wind about my unsatisfactory. Some how my brain tell me that I need to be careful.

The process of the appraisal, I not really care about. What I did care is the conclusion. Too sad to said is that conclusion she given is not what I expected. I felt that she no likely to help me to fight for my benefits. What I can do. Just to patience for my 2 years contract fully expired before I able to myself free from this company.